Everyone has their own personality: a more or less stable way of thinking, feeling, and relating to others. When we talk about personality difficulties, certain patterns have become so rigid and deeply ingrained that they repeatedly cause problems, whether in relationships, at work, or in how someone sees themselves. This article explains what personality difficulties involve, how a classification is reached, and which treatments can help.
What do we mean by personality difficulties?
Personality difficulties refer to longstanding patterns in thinking, feeling, and behaviour that differ from what is typical in a person’s surroundings and that show up across several areas of life. Common signs include:
- A strongly shifting sense of self, or difficulty knowing who you really are
- Intense, unstable relationships that swing quickly between extreme closeness and sudden distance
- Significant trouble regulating emotions such as intense anger, anxiety, or emptiness
- Impulsive behaviour that causes harm over the longer term
- A strong tendency towards mistrust, perfectionism, avoidance, or dependency that gets in the way of daily life
One pattern people often search for is borderline personality difficulties, marked by instability in relationships, self-image, and emotions. But personality difficulties take many different forms, and not everyone who recognises some of these patterns has a personality disorder. The difference between “a difficult trait” and difficulties that warrant treatment lies in how much distress is involved and how much it affects daily functioning.
How is a classification reached?
At Mavera GGZ, we approach this carefully. A diagnosis involving personality is never made lightly or after a single conversation. Patterns that have existed for years take time to map properly: how they show up, in which situations they tend to surface, and what came before them. That is why we work towards a preliminary DSM-5 classification, built up through multiple sessions, questionnaires, and sometimes additional assessment. This classification is a tool for choosing the right treatment, not a fixed label that defines someone permanently.
Understandable patterns, not personal failure
An important starting point is that these patterns did not come from nowhere. Often they once were the best available way to cope with difficult or unsafe situations, frequently dating back to childhood. What once worked as a survival strategy can become limiting later in life. Viewing these patterns as understandable adaptations rather than character flaws creates room to relate to them differently. Personality difficulties are not a fixed trait: with the right support, these patterns can genuinely change.
Which treatments do we offer?
The leading, best-supported approach for personality difficulties is schema therapy. It focuses on recognising deeply rooted patterns, known as schemas, and developing healthier ways of handling emotions and relationships. Since Mavera GGZ has a separate, detailed article on schema therapy, we will not go into further depth here.
We also offer psychodynamic therapy. This form of therapy explores how experiences from the past, often from early childhood, continue to influence present-day thoughts, feelings, and relationships. Gaining more insight into these unconscious patterns creates room to make more conscious choices.
Depending on the situation, other treatments offered by Mavera GGZ may also form part of the trajectory, such as CBT, EMDR, or relationship and family therapy when relational patterns play a major role.
Why treatment often takes longer
Treating personality difficulties usually takes more time than treating a single, isolated complaint. There is a logical reason for this: the goal is not to remove one symptom, but to gradually shift patterns that have formed over many years. The therapeutic relationship itself plays an important role here. Within a safe, stable relationship with a therapist, old patterns, for example around trust or rejection, can actually become visible and be worked through step by step. This requires patience from both client and therapist, but it makes lasting change possible.
When is it a crisis?
Personality difficulties sometimes come with intense emotions or impulsive thoughts. In situations of acute danger, such as suicidal thoughts with a plan or self-harm that is getting out of control, it is important to seek help immediately. In that case, call 112 (in the Netherlands) or go to A&E. Mavera GGZ does not provide acute crisis care, but it does offer support in building stability over the longer term.
Getting help at Mavera GGZ
A referral from your GP is required for specialist mental health care in the Netherlands. Our BIG-registered therapists provide care in Dutch, Turkish, English, Ukrainian, Polish, Uyghur, and Arabic. If you feel that certain patterns have been getting in the way of your life for a long time, get in touch via 010-254 38 96 or info@maveraggz.nl, or ask your GP for a referral. Together we will map out what is going on and which approach fits you best.
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